Get answers and suggestions for various questions from here

For children, is it poor? Still rich? Liang Hongda: The key lies in the boundaries of the rules!


For children, is it poor? Still rich? Everyone has their own reasons.

In general, the poor are poor and the rich are rich.

However, the situation is not absolute. Some families have poor economic conditions. Parents will have the compensation for their children. The poorer they are, the more they want to give their children the best.

For example, in Stephen Chow's movie "The Yangtze River No.7", while working at the construction site, he was the father of the aristocratic school for the children.

In the rich family, there are also a variety of talent classes, foreign languages, piano, calligraphy, dance, etc., which are afraid of their children losing at the starting line.

In fact, taking out a lot of money to cultivate the future of your child is not necessarily a "rich".

In fact, except for a very small number of parents, regardless of the rich and the poor, the children are still in a state of free-range. After all, it is the first time to be a parent, and it is inevitable to continue the inertia of the previous generation.

Regarding the problem of poor cultivation and richness, Liang Hongda has published a high opinion.

He believes that poor and literate are a difficult scale for parents. Liang Hongda’s view is, “I feel that poor nutrition will give children a passionate desire for material desires, and it is very easy for the rich to lose a kind of motivation for the future.

So, as far as material is concerned, it is a stimulus, an incentive, or a luxury.

Liang Hongda gave an example of eating foreign fast food. Our parents often told their children not to eat junk food. Many children would like to eat this junk food.

Why, because parents often use it as a reward method, the child performs well, and after taking 100 points, the parents take the child to eat.

What is this, isn't this a bait-like incentive?

And if you take the child to eat it generously, give the child a casual, very common signal, and the child naturally has no desire for this (to eat junk food).

Because he feels too ordinary, there is no temptation, the taste is the same as the braised pork in the house, maybe it is not as good as the meal at home.

“One of the best ways to get rich and poor is to give your child an established border and what is your normal way of spending.” Liang Hongda said that no matter whether it is poor or poor, the prerequisite is to educate, to teach him rules, to "talk people and understand people."

The key to this is to let the child know where the boundaries of the rules are.

... Many people have taught their children a lot of skills, and they have obtained the certificate. They have learned this knowledge. In fact, all these things (mostly invalid) - your skills are not good, society can relieve you, If you don't understand the rules, I am afraid that it is difficult to move.

Many parents don't know where this border is.

In particular, some poor parents believe that it is enough to give children enough money and adequate material conditions.

Then I watched the children of other people go to the class, and he sent the children to the past. Because they were suffering, they especially hoped to make up for their shortcomings through the children.

I lost at the starting line and my child could not lose on the starting line. This is the mentality of many parents.

However, you should think about it. When you were a child, what is the highest achievement now, is the one who is rich at home?

Maybe not.

To be honest, "not letting lose at the starting line" is a business, and it is now the foundation of extracurricular tutoring and education and training.

Similar to "the lie of milk", "the theory of acid and alkali constitution" and so on.

Creating anxiety and expectations is a good thing for businessmen to try and manipulate, and to be human, is the underlying password of the big brand business model.

If the school and the teacher are not well educated, can you educate the children that they don’t know who they are and who are the ones who make the most money?

Zhou Haihong, deputy dean of the Central Conservatory of Music, pointed out that:

"China's education has a very serious problem. The first is the structural problem. The most important thing that affects people's life is not learned. It is useless. The second problem is the procedural misconduct. Parents put a lot of rational intellectual things. In childhood, the so-called early education, fearing that their children will lose on the starting line, you win at the starting line, lost at the terminal, actually deprived the child of the development of emotional quality."

Win at the starting line and lose at the terminal.

Vibrate. This is the professor.

In recent years, news such as college students' aunts and doctoral suicides are not uncommon. Many of them are learning the knowledge of their stomachs, but they do not have the basic ability to make a living independently and respond to society.

Their own life has just begun, but they have lost to the terminal. Who is responsible for this?

I have seen such a news: Shanghai’s 82-year-old Ding Apo’s wife has passed away. She has suffered from uremia. She has been on the bus for dialysis. Her 48-year-old son is a master's degree in engineering from the University of Waterloo, Canada. He stayed home and did not work after returning to China in 2012.

Because he feels that going out to work is not smooth, he feels that this kind of discomfort is caused by his mother. The old mother can only sigh and sigh: I ruined your future and I am guilty.

Jackie Chan, the "big brother" of the Chinese film circle, recently said on the show that he considers himself a derelict father. "It is the American university that did not teach him well, and the social university taught him well."

In the past, Jackie Chan said that he was busy filming. As a result, his son’s school was not clear. His son gave him a backend. He could hold his son’s neck on the wall. It seemed to be a dereliction of duty.

And his daughter, always wanted to ask him a question: "Why is this why my mother? Have you discussed it? I know that I am still small, but I need an answer."

Give your child food and clothing, wear bodyguards, buy a luxury car, find a famous teacher... Does this mean cultivating a good child?

Therefore, some people said, "After a few years, I am even grateful to this somewhat authoritarian family. It is your own interest. When you become famous, all aspects are stronger than your previous generation. When you go to grateful and strict discipline If you have been unable to become independent and can't become stronger, you will not be grateful... China's education is to cultivate talents, not to be one person."

People before the 1980s, there is absolutely no such material condition, and there is no current Internet and knowledge explosion, but they have not become ignorant, weak and sensitive.

"The future is not the competition of knowledge, but the competition of creativity and imagination. It is the competition of wisdom and experience. It is the competition of leadership, responsibility and responsibility. It is the competition of independent thinking."

Ma Yun said that the future education can not only teach knowledge, "teaching" and "education", "teaching" is knowledge, "education" is culture; "study" and "study" are two concepts, "learning" It is knowledge, "study" is to try knowledge, experience setbacks, is an imagination, is a culture. The mission of future education must not be to train many high-scoring children, nor to train learning machines, nor to train children in the assembly line. We must make children the best and become real people.

For parents, raising children is one of the most important tasks in life.

Frederick Douglas, the leader of the American abolitionist movement in the 19th century, emphasized that "cultivating a strong inner child is much easier than repairing a broken soul in the future."

Social problems are often a continuation of family problems.

With regard to affluence and poverty, we can also refer to the words of Simon Beauvoir:

The great fortune of a man is that he must embark on an extremely difficult road, whether in adulthood or in his childhood, but this is the most reliable road; the unfortunate woman is surrounded by almost irresistible temptation; she does not Being asked to work hard, only being encouraged to slide down to reach Bliss. When she found out that she was fooled by a mirage, it was too late and her power was exhausted in the failed adventure.

Mr. Liang Wei said that life must solve three major relationships - the relationship between people and things, the relationship between people and people, and the relationship between people and themselves.

Cultivating a child into a material is not to say that it is equal to how many certificates have been tested.

To know that society is sinister, the child’s inner strength is the most important.

Writer Feng Tang teaches children in "To the Daughter's Book" that "the soup is more important than writing poetry; its craft is more important than the man; the hair and chest and waist and buttocks are more important than the face; the inner strength is stronger than the bastard is more important than anything else."