Author: beef (rich book columnist)
I am over 30 years old, and I am a poor mix among my peers. 30 is not standing. It’s not easy for this road to stumble and go to this day. I have defeated myself.
The tears and sweats of the past can't be white, so today I make a summary of myself, let all the sorrows, all the loss points to growth.
At the same time, I will learn from you and hope that I can help younger ones. The main experience of this road is the following:
1. A person’s native family can largely determine how far a person goes.
Although my parents are also national staff and people who have read some books, but because they lived in a bad environment from an early age, they also grew up in the struggle, all the way hard, all the way, so they don’t know how Go to love, how to educate children.
I remember that when I was very young, my mother forced me to read. She only knew that I would study, and I didn't care about my inner feelings. And my mother's temper is still very bad, because of the hardships of life, my dad is not at home.
In my impression, my mother is always a fierce and sinister look. On the one hand, it is fierce. On the one hand, it is very fragile. Sometimes it will cry in front of us. Even dreaming is that she is beating me.
She is an extremely unstable person, and has been retired for several years now, but she is still unwilling to take responsibility for her actions. Just like a child, what problems arise always push responsibility to others, and they never have wrong. My dad and my mom are often awkward, they often quarrel.
I grew up alone, I didn't get the love of my parents, my parents care. They run for life, they don't have time to take care of me, and I am embarrassed, don't need much thoughts on them, just give me some money.
In my impression, I always go to school alone, one person by train, one person by plane, one person to the hospital, I have left all the pain alone, and one person solves all the problems.
They used to be complacent and felt that I was embarrassed and saved them a lot of trouble. But now they found that I was not the way they imagined, they wanted to change me, and I didn’t do anything from my clothes and food, but it was too late. Where did you go that year?
I am sensitive, fragile, self-respecting and insecure. So my ability to resist risk and the ability to resist setbacks is relatively poor. If it is hit hard, I can't afford it.
My dad, my mom, they only know that I want to make me strong, and I want to cultivate my independence. But they don’t know that when a seedling is very small, it is incapable of bearing the risks of the outside world. Let them kill.
Wait until the seedling grows bigger and let it withstand wind and rain, to make it stronger. Just as I was exposed to these wind and rain prematurely, I was so bruised.
It is a blessing to be able to grow up in a warm family. This family does not need to be rich, but must have love. A person's native family can affect at least one person for 20 years.
I know that it is especially difficult for parents to raise me. Everyone has his difficulties. They are also victims. Although I have some resentment against them, I can't blame them anymore. If I hate them again, I can't live in my life. Get happiness.
By now I can basically understand why I have been like this, I began to cultivate myself and become stronger. No longer care about a little thing, no longer being led by others, no longer suffering from loss.
Most people are not aware of it and copy the bad lifestyle of their parents.
Before I practice myself, if I am still a grumpy, insecure, and suffering person, I will not consider entering a relationship. I don't want to repeat my parents' life, and I don't want to let future children suffer such harm.
Second, the people around you have caused your situation to a large extent. The people who hurt you are people who are familiar with you.
I don't feel safe, and I don't trust others. Because I have been betrayed by others since I was a child. From the beginning of primary school to the time of work, there are about ten people who sold me before and after, and there are classmates and friends. There are colleagues.
I remember when I was sold for the first time, I was 9 years old. I was playing with a friend. We accidentally broke the stationery of a classmate. At that time, I was not aware. In fact, her stationery was a bit problematic, but she Actually, I went to the female classmate and said that I deliberately dropped her stationery.
Later, the female classmate came to marry me. I didn't know what to say for a while, but I suddenly realized that she betrayed me, and a broken ballpoint pen, is it so serious?
This friend may be because my grades are better than her. She has been jealous of me since she was a child. Now she will come to me to help me. I also do my best to help her. She has sold me at least three times. I used to do things. I remember that I was cast a shadow on my young mind.
I will help her now and it does not mean that I have forgotten the things I used to. It’s just that I no longer easily treat people as friends. Even if I look very good on the surface, I have a classification for my friends. I am clear about which ones are really good to me, which ones are nodding, and which ones are hoping to see my jokes.
Because I am stupid and will not learn the lessons of the past, I have always been in a state of being betrayed. There are more than ten people who have sold me from primary school to university before and after work. There are men and women, I don’t know why. I like to talk about my things. It is also because of their betrayal that I am notorious.
Some people say that they have a long, wise mind, and they have been bitten by snakes for ten years, but I am still stupid enough to die in my 20s. There is always no choice but to speak out, and the mouth is not obscured.
I can't blame them until now, because some may be unintentional, people have inferiority, and there are voyeurism, all porters of gossip. I will blame them for nothing, all I can do is stay away from them.
Some time ago, a Chinese student was killed in the United States. It is said to have been killed by someone she is familiar with, so those who hurt us are people who know us and are familiar with us. They are very clear about your situation, and your secrets are also very clear.
Therefore, my heart is full of defenses. I don't want to say something to people familiar with me. I would rather talk to strangers and not find familiar people.
Third, the sooner you refuse something, the better you refuse.
When I started working, because I was a new person, I became a firefighter. Everything was looking for me. Everyone regarded me as a volunteer. It was because of this busy work that I did my own job. It’s a mess. I helped a lot of people, but because my grades are not good, all the people are talking about me, they are laughing at me.
The reason is that I don't know how to refuse. I am an honest person. I was an honest person from an early age.
Later, I changed my job, and I still made the same problem. Some people in the unit like to be busy when they are in the leadership. When the leader is not there, they start to rest, and some people even slip away.
I don't particularly understand these things. I have taken a lot of things that shouldn't be done by me. I belong to the type that is more responsible and nosy, and because I am better, even other departments have taken me. Make the group turn.
Although I was very angry, I didn't know how to refuse to say how to export, so I was so busy all day, because I tried hard to get the job done, so I sat for too long, and my body had a problem.
Since then, I finally learned to refuse, so I also became a little easier. No longer willing to grieve and fulfill others. If you want to make everyone happy, the most dissatisfied is yourself.
The sooner you refuse, the better you refuse. Don't make promises. You can only make promises if you can do it. If you often talk loudly and often deceive others, you will not get the trust of others. Will be looked down upon by others.
Fourth, some things can be attached, some things can not
You can pursue career and success persistently. If you find the right direction in this aspect, the more you pay, the more you get.
When I was a senior student, I met a male student. When I was in the postgraduate training class, he sat in front of me. We said a few words and then exchanged learning materials.
However, because I was seriously distracted, and I had to do too many things, I had to try too many exams, so I didn't test it. I failed, and I scored a score of ten points.
And the boy's score is lower than me, we are the same major, he is 20 points less than me.
Later, for various reasons, I gave up the postgraduate entrance examination, and the boy continued to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Up to now, he has graduated from doctoral degree. I work for a research institution in Beijing, and I only envy him.
If I can study with one heart and one mind, I can read the doctor. Under normal circumstances, I am only 26 years old when I graduated from a doctoral degree.
I will have a more wonderful life, and there will be more choices, instead of staying in such a small place, being told all the time and being teased.
Career, you can be attached, but love can't. Look at Li Mozhen, and then look at Du Shi Niang, Princess Lantern in Chu Chuan Biography. Which one is not the end of the tragedy?
If I didn't want to pursue a perfect love, I wouldn't fall into this field today. There are many stories about love in this world, and love is rare. For many people, it is just a luxury.
Don't think that you must win someone. If you don't like you, you don't like you. If you don't like it, it won't help. Even if you touched others through hard work, but people still have others in their hearts.
Don't deceive yourself any more, don't make excuses for others, don't want to be with you, don't be reluctant, everyone knows the words, the twisted melon is not sweet, but why are there so many people for love? The former servant, lost himself, spent youth, and finally got nothing, even took his life.
5. Don't immerse yourself in the pain, you must face yourself with a growing attitude.
My first half of my life was not good, but it doesn't mean that I will be bad in my life. Maybe you, like me, have suffered a lot from childhood, have not got the love of their parents, have no love, and have been betrayed by friends and classmates. Scarred, if you remember the past, if you want to cry, then we can cry for three days and three nights.
But we can't cry anymore. We can't immerse ourselves in the sad memories of the past. If you have been living in the past and have been immersed in those pains, then your future will be ruined.
If you think about me every day, I am so poor, then you will be self-satisfied in your life. You have to sort out your past experiences, make a summary, let every sad thing in the past, every bad person you meet becomes a stepping stone to your happy life.
In this way, the pain you have suffered, the tears you shed will become meaningful. You must use a learning-oriented mentality and a growing mentality to face the future of life. Otherwise, you will experience so much, or you will not use it at all. You will continue to experience these pains. It takes a long time to eat a sip, and the cockroaches you eat will make sense.
About the author: Niu Niu, the columnist of the Franklin Book Club, grows like a cow, stubborn like a cow, and has a cold eye on a thousand fingers, and bows to a scorpion cow. I hope that I can be bullish in the future and become more and more cattle. This article is the first to send a rich book (ID: zhongchoudushu)