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Why are more and more people who think they are good, but the more difficult it is to find a boyfriend?


User asked:

I am getting better and better, I feel that I deserve better people. But it is very strange. Now it is more and more difficult to find a boyfriend. Even if there is an object, it is not happy to have a few times of dating. Why?

Hong Xiao

Two answers:

Confucius said that if you are a threesome, you must have my teacher.

Apply to the relationship between men and women (I hope Mr. Kong does not mind), I understand that this person, there are always some aspects than you. You are also somewhat better than him.

The concept of excellence often comes from comparison.

If a girl feels that she is better, she is largely unacceptable to find a person who is not so powerful. She must find a good place better than herself. If the difference is not better than her own, this will be very difficult.

As far as the actual cases are concerned, the better the girls, if they are looking for a comprehensive suppression of their boys, there will be two extreme phenomena: one is indeed lacking in vain, sticking to their own conditions, and of course doing well. I am willing to gamble and lose. The other is a pity, and often will not persist, find a boy who is not ideal in all aspects or even respects himself, and then give himself a brainwashing boy.

I have always encouraged female friends around me to get close to the opposite sex, communicate with the opposite sex, understand them to some extent and judge them objectively. I just don't want the latter phenomenon to be widespread.

This attribute of excellence, in the relationship between men and women, if used in the wrong dimension, increases the risk of life, as if you are in an investment field that you do not understand, the more money you invest, the more you lose. .

I am excellent, so I have to have better people to match me and fully utilitarianize the relationship between people. It is like making a wrong investment in an unfamiliar field.

Excellence is very important, but one person's excellent field is mainly to please himself, in order to better improve compatibility and adaptability in the environment in which he lives. A healthy, positive, intelligent, and optimistic life is great, but one who says that he is very good but looks down on the people around him and even devalues ​​others to raise himself, only to care for and to be better than himself, and I hope that people who are better than themselves will help themselves unselfishly, so those who can have this kind of thinking mode, I want to say that it is difficult to be excellent.

Because good people are trying to make better people look at themselves, this is a little bit of a paradox!

And in terms of absolute numbers, the better the threshold, the fewer people are reached. Similar to if you have won the Nobel Prize for excellence, the requirement for the other half is that the number of prizes is higher than you, I am afraid... This example sounds very funny, but many times, women made this mistake in the early days of mate selection. Not knowing.

The relationship between men and women, we often say that the door is right, when the relationship is basically the same as the meaning of the game, rather than the man is definitely better than the woman.

If Ma Yun was to find someone who was a little better than himself in all aspects, perhaps there would be no Alibaba.

People who are good at some level can also be called lonely people, because when they use their own decisions, the results should be borne by them alone.

Once you are qualified as a condition to exchange responsibility for others, or if others are tolerant of your picky, your excellence will be questioned.

When people interact with each other, we pay attention to equality, is pleasure, is a win-win situation, is a relaxed attitude, try to let go of your "excellent". Everyone is an ordinary person, holding happiness, communication, and seeing the world from a different angle. I feel each other and try to try this or that possibility. If it is mixed, it will be scattered. When two people interact, they don't need to prove that they are good. They just need to use "love" as an excuse to take advantage of each other's cheap.

The best thing is that we can adapt to our own lives, but when the two sides need help, they will help each other. Talk, I ask you to have a brick, and are willing to bear your feelings, can't talk, you tell me that you have millions of you, and that has nothing to do with me.

So don't forget why you are looking for a boyfriend, just like don't forget why you work and why. Thanks to every thing in life that you have the freedom to make choices, because it is every choice that makes you step by step to be yourself.