Seeing a problem on knowing
“There is a kind of girl who has a good personality on the surface, is very friendly, and is very polite to people. It makes people feel a sense of distance. It is very inexplicable. Why?”
Such girls in the opposite sex, the most likely to be misunderstood by the kind of greasy meat knife boys into green tea.
Today, I came to make a noise for them. Nowadays, many boys learn to be "smart". If they know that they can't blindly express themselves, they use greasy routines to carry out another stalker.
If a girl refuses clearly, she will appear to be self-satisfied. If she refuses, the hob meat boy will choose not to understand.
And this kind of girl who is polite to everyone, every time a pair of hob meat politeness, will be considered by this type of hob meat is interested in him, will confess after two days, will be said after being rejected One sentence:
"I don't like that I still catch me for two days. It's really green tea."
But since the subject has discovered the existence of a sense of distance, it proves that the subject is not greasy hob meat.
Then the question asked the question, most of them want to know how to enter the heart of this girl.
Most of the answers are saying "not because she doesn't like you", except for venting emotions, and then there is no constructive analysis.
The most important thing is that people who are accustomed to the first reaction to give such a conclusion are often slow in the communication between men and women. Yes, I am driving a map.
This kind of arbitrary and simple discourse is not meaningful, and may cause the subject to fall into blind self-denial: "Is it not good enough?"
In fact, this kind of girl is very common around us. Slightly summarizing and analyzing, this problem can be disassembled into three parts: traceability, deepening, and solution.
"My nature is not suitable for communication. On most occasions, I don't think that the other person is boring, that is, I am afraid that the other person feels that I am bored. But I am not willing to endure the boring of the other person, nor will I have to work hard to make myself look interesting. It is too tired. When I am alone The easiest, because I don't feel bored, even if I am bored, I will bear it myself and not be tired of others."
The above paragraph is especially applicable to such girls, who are reluctant to pay too much for unnecessary interaction.
They are not proud, but smart. They know how to maximize efficiency in interpersonal communication, especially in heterosexual screening. Just like people who have been carrying headphones at the station, there may be no music in them. The purpose is just to disturb the unnecessary. Give it a filter.
Faced with different girls, many boys who choose to pursue their enemies are step by step, but they must know that “it is difficult to attack the city and attack the heart.” Only by going to the right medicine and cutting the softest part of their heart, can we achieve the highest efficiency. .
Then, in the face of this kind of polite, but also a sense of distance, how do we break the barriers, take off their headphones, and walk into their hearts?
The following five questions:
1 morally perfectionist
Seeing self-esteem at first sight, paying attention to inferiority
At first, everyone felt that they were the sons of the day-to-day elections. Only when they hit the wall and did nothing, they realized that they were just a small drop of water in the sea.
And they are different. They always have a kind of "lone sense of superiority" in their hearts . This sense of superiority is reasonable, because moral perfection is an objective advantage.
This sense of superiority is objective and normal, but there is an ultimate confusion in their deeper hearts. "I am not a good person except for a good moral person."
The first measure of the heart:
In response to this psychological characteristic, in our dealings with her, we must take the initiative to issue affirmation, that is, to praise her.
Don't praise her politeness and self-cultivation, this will deepen her "lone sense of superiority". What we have to do is to make her "lone sense of superiority" into "the superiority of two people" and stand with her. On a moral platform, go down to everyone.
She really needs to be boasted. What I want to hear most is that you have said that someone else has never said her merits. I will not tell her that "someone said that I was like this before, but I think I am not like this." The opportunity of the sentence.
For example, praise her:
"I haven't found out that you have a strong ability to work."
"Suddenly, your logical thinking ability is very powerful."
"So strong girl is really distressing."
Go to the positive description label that others have not posted to her, and paste it into her heart anchor, giving her a lot of strong psychological hints, let her unconsciously self-certify your many positives in later life. Prophecy, then they will say " finally meet someone who knows me . "
2 will stay tired for a long time
I have discussed an interesting thing with my friends:
At the time of eating, you and another person have made a mistake in the position. If you accidentally spilled the soup on the table, who would apologize first?
For the average person, the answer is this: If the soup is not spilled on either side of the clothes, no one will apologize first, and the laughter will pass. But if it is only spilled on one person, no matter who is wrong with the position, another person will apologize for natural conditioning.
If the clothes of both people are spilled, they will apologize to each other.
For girls with such high self-ethical requirements, no matter what the situation, they will take the lead to apologize.
They may not feel that they are wrong, but they are always habitually entering themselves into a weak area. The weaker and safer they are, this is actually a lack of security and a move to avoid disadvantages.
At the beginning, they can clearly understand that it is not their own fault. Everyone knows that she is in the back pot.
But after a long time, they will inevitably feel unfair and feel that they have been wronged.
The second measure of attack :
A girl who seems to have a sense of distance is actually most eager to help someone. Therefore, in the face of joint responsibility, we must take the lead and defend her in the group and excuse her.
At the same time, she took the first step to complain about her unfairness and try to understand and comfort her grievances.
Even to help her get rid of this slightly weak character before the person, use the mature three views to crush her, to solve some of her confusion about life, let her break and stand:
"In this world, some people choose to be bad people, and they have peace of mind, but they also have feasts. Some people choose to be good people, and they have feelings and righteousness, but they are innocent. If they are unfair, they will think about it, but the bad guys will benefit. Good people are the names, they are all needed."
(To brainwashing to change a person's character, such a difficult operation is more difficult to use, and it is necessary to control the strength and timing, otherwise it is counterproductive.)
3 use God to walk to enter
Many girls are like this: If you like me first, I may like you. And they are different, they are the few people who never passively accept boys.
For example, she may have a good impression of a boy before, but as long as he starts fierce pursuits and starts to make unreasonable treatments for her, then he is already cold.
This point is very similar to the character of many boys. The more they feel, the more they feel high-level. The more difficult they are, the more they want to chase.
At the same time, they have a kind of fear of owing others, so they will not accept the inexplicable kindness. If they really need the help of the other party, they will give the other party a corresponding return in time, leaving a hard and sloppy transaction.
The third measure of attacking the heart:
Unless she secretly loves you beforehand, otherwise she should not expose her pursuit in front of her. The first thing we want to give her is the sense of distance, and then the feeling of discount.
The sense of distance can produce a sense of quality, which has already been applied in marketing. In many luxury stores, there is no guide to a particularly enthusiastic recommendation. You must buy one to take home.
This sense of high quality will make you want to buy enough money, and when it is suddenly discounted, you will buy it immediately.
In the other direction, for such proud people, the correct posture is to rationalize the interaction.
To be specific, don't talk to people about life as soon as you go up. Very sensitive, they will spontaneously create conflicts.
However, if we use the things around us to rationalize the interaction, we will exchange ideas first, then give her approval, and then expand in depth, it is wonderful.
Since it is necessary to conduct a transaction, it is better for us to take the step in the interaction and complete the trading direction that we want.
For example, if you helped her to do ppt, she might have said thank you to you, or bought a small gift to thank you, but we played to seize the opportunity, first step by step and say "Don't say thank you, weekend please I just have dinner, I heard that a new store is good."
Of course, when you have finished paying for the meal on weekends, you can play a small game, put two people's mobile phones on the table, and let the waiter randomly choose a mobile phone to pay the bill.
Don't be afraid that she is too stingy because they want to complete the transaction and no longer owe it to humanity. Don't be afraid that she will not want to play, because her appearance looks quiet and serious, she is actually very fond of playing:
4 brings an experience she has never had before
Especially cheerful, for girls who are self-cooked, the fantasy of love is rather heavy and stable, perhaps a warm heart can completely touch them.
For such unfamiliar people, it seems that people who are always wearing tulle and not eating the fireworks of the world, their fantasy of love is a risky, stimulating word that many people want to break their heads and can’t guess. .
The fourth measure of attacking the heart:
If you want to chase a girl who is polite to anyone, then from now on, you must be in this group, do not be rigid, do everyday jokes, and do the right thing at the right time.
To a certain extent, the limelight is an unbridled display of strengths.
The opposite sex that attracts the most attention is talent, leadership, IQ, and social identity. The best way to show it is to be proud and funny, so I won’t go into details here.
I bet with her, take risks with her, and do some small and ethical things with her. She once thought about things that she couldn’t even think about. Don’t be afraid of her weak refusal, that is, to lead her “bad”.
Believe me, the state of getting along in love should actually appear before the confession. Only when she is satisfied with this state, she can't wait to expect your confession.
5 Forgive me for putting the most important premise to the end
Please think carefully about the girls around them. They are often excellent. At the very least, they are not too bad. Because they are hardworking, positive, and believe that all good can be achieved through hard work.
Therefore, she either insists on being alone or has a boyfriend. He must be the most dazzling one among the boys around her.
If you don’t meet someone, you will never.
The fifth measure of attacking the heart:
Forgive me, boy.
The fifth kit is empty, and there is only one chicken soup in it:
If you are hostile to the reality of fiction, far away, and you don’t have any strengths, you can’t measure the word and
can’t defend yourself.
Even if you use all your mental skills, you can only catch up with a big brainless girl. But definitely can't win the hearts of girls like this one, because they are soberly aware that they never need a loser.
I never answer for the answer, I can say so much according to a title, only because those heavy experiences are supporting me.
Above, from the long-term illness into a doctor of Xiao.
I want ordinary people to have love too.
Original is not easy, please give me some support before the collection, thank you.
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