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You are not doing well right now, you will not do well in the future.


In yesterday's article, I talked about action.

At the end of the article, I talked about the inherent difficulties of action.

In fact, on the way to continuous action, in addition to internal difficulties, many people chose to give up because they were not strong enough in their hearts and under the ridicule of others.

For the operation of the public number, I have not met a sneer at the moment, and my friends around me have given me more encouragement and blessings.

Here I want to say thank you to the friends who care and support me.

However, the operations that were previously known were not so harmonious. There may be several explosions, and the volume and heat may be larger than the public. I have encountered a lot of cynicism and lifting in the comment area.

I have been thinking about this for a long time.

I think these people can be divided into two categories:

A kind of purely spray and unqualified silk, you can't make progress, just sneer at you with no logic.

For such people, you must be determined to go back, even worse than them, give them a color look and defeat their fragile heart.

What kind of person is this kind of person, you can go to the WeChat comment area of ​​the dish.

There is another category that needs attention. These people may be full of sarcasm, but their words really point out your mistakes and deficiencies.

Last week I talked about six thinking hats. In fact, these people are typically thinking with black hats. We can't confuse them with the first class.

Seeing such comments, we need to think deeply and correct our mistakes in time.

In the book Success: How We Achieve Goals, there are two concepts. The book divides the continuous action into two personalities: one is an enterprising personality and the other is a phenotypic personality.

Expressive personality: pay more attention to current performance, often give up directly because of fear of poor performance.

Aggressive personality: pay more attention to future results, so the current poor performance does not affect their continued efforts.

The biggest obstacle to "expression personality" wanting to become "aggressive personality" is: fear that you are not performing well. In other words: living in the world of others.

After taking a study abroad, you need to practice oral English as an example.

Many people even have a high score after IELTS TOEFL, and they still face difficulties after going abroad.

The phenotypic personality will be very concerned about his face. Some people think that they have thought about 7 points, and how can they get stuck in the spoken language. Good English, not our mother tongue. I didn't have this kind of exercise in China before.

However, without knowing this, after going abroad, many of the IELTS 7 points of the gods can not improve their spoken language, because they dare not open their mouths, fear of mistakes, and want to maintain the aura of English gods on their heads.

In fact, the best way to improve your spoken English is to communicate boldly with foreigners. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake. People with aggressive personality will set their sights on the results.

Such people will think: 'The "ugly" communication is to exercise oral English. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake. If the other party understands, it will achieve the purpose of communication. '

Therefore, the growth rate of "aggressive personality" is several times or even hundreds of times faster than "expression personality."

In fact, phenotypic personality is afraid of not performing well, and essentially stems from not accepting "not good enough."

I don't have a sense of identity with myself, so I build my confidence on others' recognition of myself and over-evaluate the unexpected world.

And because of the criticism and ridicule that may be caused by fear of making mistakes, you simply don’t do it. If you don’t do it, you will not go wrong.

Imagine a sprayer facing a boy who weighs only 55 kilograms and has a height of 180. "How do you get fat, and the weight loss work is really bad."

Do you think that the boy will have a reaction?

I don't think so. Because of the objective conditions of his height and weight, let him know that he is not a fat man at all.

Objective conditions give him enough self-identity.

But even if the objective conditions are not met, we should understand the concept of "I" blame me.

At work, some superiors may not pay attention to the way they speak. When you do a bad job, he may say this:

Your mission this month is very poor!

I am very dissatisfied with your work!

Why are you so inefficient?

If you are a veteran of the workplace, because you have enough work experience, self-identification will tell him that the boss is not right. The evaluation of others by us is essentially saying that "my" is not enough, not "I" is not good.

However, for a newcomer in the workplace, because of lack of work experience and lack of self-confidence, it is often wrong to evaluate others' behavior/views/attitudes/abilities.

Growth is the process of “my” escalating, and the evaluation of “my” by others is an opportunity for us to get inspired and grow from different angles.

Furthermore, if you are not doing well now, then generously admit:

I am not doing well now, it does not mean that I will not do well in the future.

With this knowledge, enterprising personality can slowly form.

When others ridicule our dreams, we can't let those people shut up. The only way is to constantly cultivate internal strength and use their strength to hit their faces.

Instead of caring about the rejection and misbehaviness of others, it is better to run your own dignity and beauty.